Table of contents
I have a head that is quite triangular (like Phineas and Ferb) , all my teeth have white spots (fluorosis), and teeth that are not as straight as I'd like them to be.
👩⚖️ Judge Ourselves Fairly
We all have certain physical features that we're concerned about, but they all miss the point of our relationships. We judge ourselves quite extensively on our physical looks. On the flip side, we often love our friends for who they are, not what they do or how they look like.
Our friends love us for who we are inside, so I think it would be nice to use that same standard and judge ourselves based on our psychological virtues and principles rather than purely physical ones.
The same principle applies throughout the course of a friendship: when we first meet someone, we are all too concerned about how we look. As the friendship grows and matures, we are less concerned about our physical grooming in front of each, but much more concerned about the quality of person that we are inside.
I'm much more concerned that my friends are trustworthy (that their actions will be consistent with what I've seen in the past), than if they've combed their hair today.
🌸 Helping Others Feel Beautiful
The way to help someone feel beautiful is not to praise their looks. It is to be interested in their deepest thoughts, and be happy about their psychological state.
The worry comes from the fear of humiliation when we are revealed as imposters, when one day our friends find out that we are not as beautiful or virtuous as they think we are.
I, too, have a friend who is perpetually sick with worry that others will judge her. We shouldn't rush to give compliments. This will only temporarily boost her current self-esteem. The thought process behind her anxiety is still present, and we should address it:
We should stress that we are not wonderful nor perfect, but so is everyone else who has walked the face of this earth. Everyone is a little insane, quirky, and quite imperfect in their own special way. Rather than holding this idea of ideal perfection, it is better to throw them away. Accept that we will never be perfect. We can only be good enough.
Conclusion
I love that my friends are imperfect, crazy, and perverted. These are quirks that, at an acceptable level, make them wholly unique. And this calls for mercy and acceptance, not judgement and condemnation. I often laugh at our absurdity and shared dislike for the human condition. For that, I am eternally grateful.
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